Thursday, June 02, 2005

The Selectrix and the Shredex

Just how delicious is it that Deep Throat has chosen to reveal his perhaps befuddled self at the very moment when the Bush Administration is trying to slam Newsweek for its use of an unnamed source in its infamous Koran-flushing item?

Scrumptious, mes amis. Absolutely scrumptious.

Now, if the progressive movement had a decent spinmeister in its ranks, s/he'd be out there right now, demonstrating all sorts of parallels between the Nixon and Bush Administrations (penchant for secrecy and invasion of your privacy; political use of the FBI; enemies list--Helen Thomas likely on both lists).

Of course, that would be if the progressive movement had a decent spinmeister in its ranks. In the meantime, your blogstress will have to fill in.

Speaking of your cybertrix (and you know we must), she herself has a dark secret to reveal: back in the days when she was a mere Selectrix (think indestructable IBM product), she performed the critical function of periodically receiving a locked briefcase from Bob Woodward's courier to which only she had the combination. This is absolutely true.

Your blogstress at one time toiled for Mr. Woodward's editor, the fierce and brilliant Alice Mayhew, and a combination of your net-tĂȘte's lowly position and intrinsically trustworthy nature won her the task of guarding the treasure (in this case, Mr. Woodward's manuscript for one of his solo projects).

At one point, upon the receipt of an updated version, your Ă©crivaine was given the critical job of shredding the previous one, at which point she found herself kneeling before a machine by Shredex that proudly bore the label: Watergate 1200.

One thing led to another, and your blogstress eventually found herself in the employ of Mr. Woodward's former writing partner, Carl Bernstein, of whom she remains very fond. This much she can reveal: the word "surreal" gained new meaning for her during that tenure. But more, she cannot say.

The revelation of Mark Felt as Deep Throat this week was as much a surprise to your Webwench as to anybody else. One simply doesn't ask such things. And real journalists never tell.

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