Tuesday, August 31, 2004

What you didn't see in prime time

NEW YORK, NY--Once upon a time, your blogstress gave a certain grudging respect to Elizabeth Hanford Dole for having a achieved so many things unthinkable by most women of her generation--a law degree, a cabinet post, the helm of an immense non-profit and, now, a seat in the United States Senate.

Back when your cybertrix was but a young vixen toiling as a feminist, this Dole paid a visit to Ms. magazine, where we received her with genuine enthusiasm, thinking her to be a reasonable sort of Republican.

As of tonight, Dole chose to roundly throw reason out the window with a speech that could have been delivered by the Rev. Jerry Falwell. Approaching the podium to the tune of Tom Jones' "She's a Lady", Mrs. Dole went on to carry water for the gay-hating, anti-abortion and ostentatiously evangelical wing of the GOP. Offering such utterances as: "Marriage is important because it is the cornerstone of civilization," Dole went on to imply the standard lie that queer people who want the right to marry seek to destroy the very institution of which they seek to be a part.

In speaking of freedom of religion--a right your blogstress, heathen that she is, truly reveres--Dole kicked the virtue of humility to the curb in order to tout her own piety. "Two thousand years ago a man said, 'I have come to give life and to give it in full,'" Dole said. "In America I have the freedom to call that man Lord, and I do."

And in America, your blogstress has the right to call 'em as she sees 'em, and she just saw a medicine show conducted by a vision in celery-colored silk (with matching pumps).

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