Friday, April 28, 2006

Kristol mauled by baby eagle daddy

If you've been locked away in your boudoir, tasting bon bons and other fine things, then you may have missed the fact that the San Francisco Zoo has named a baby eagle after Comedy Central satirist Stephen Colbert, and that the latter speaks of the fledgeling as "Stephen, Jr." And you may have missed the wild success of "The Colbert Report," a fast-paced, writerly send-up of the dominant talk show in the line-up of that fair and balanced news network.

It appears that the neo-con pundit and former Dan Quayle speechwriter Bill Kristol unwittingly stepped right into an eagle's nest when he submitted to an interview by the quick-cogitating Colbert, who not only made mincemeat of Kristol -- a booster of the Iraq war that is the main product of the Project for the New American Century -- but threw Kristol so far off his game as to get the brains behind Mr. Potatoe-head to utter a stupid and misogynist statement.

One wonders what possessed Kristol to appear on Colbert's show. Had he taken Colbert literally, somehow failing to catch on to the fact of Colbert as a satirist under the evil spell of the liberal media?

Having not anticipated such a newsworthy event as Kristol's paean to wife-beating, your blogstress failed to run her hi-tech recording device (a Dictaphone-compatible mini-cassette recorder) during Colbert's show, so she cannot offer you, dear reader, an exact quote. (Colbert has not posted video of this particular segment on the Comedy Central Web site.)

[[MATERIAL WITHIN BRACKETS, FROM ORIGINAL POST, IS ERRONEOUS. REVISED SENTENCE APPEARS AFTER THESE BRACKETS. However, in response to a Colbert taunt about bombing Mesopotamia into democracy, Kristol replied to the effect of, it's like hitting one's wife because you love her. (When the actual quote surfaces, your cybertrix will oblige.)]]

Playing the part of a stooge to the right of Kristol to wily effect, Colbert reminded Kristol that he had called the Bush administration "incompetent." Baiting the pundit in a righteous tone, Colbert asked, "Do you support the president?"

When Kristol said he did, Colbert replied, "That's like saying, 'Honey I hit you cause I love you...'" And there the hapless neo-con fell prey to the eaglet's papa, replying with something like, "Sometimes that's true."

A Google search of news outlets has revealed no reporting yet on this mind-blowing faux pas from the resident sage of the Faux News Channel, nor have the bloggers who monitor this sort of thing yet come up with the goods. So your Webwench leaves her reader with this charge: All you Tivo-tĂȘtes, bring that quote to mama. (Note the "E-mail Addie" button on the sidebar.)

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